I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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