Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
