dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
