you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
