I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
