you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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