Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
