Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
