After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im holly from the hills drunk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
