In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
