i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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