I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
