Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
