I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
