If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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