I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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