It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
