you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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