Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I lost the right to judge tonight
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize