there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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