I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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