My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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