I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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