Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize