You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
