I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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