I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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