I love black thongs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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