omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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