Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
