I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize