one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize