she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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