I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
