WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize