One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
