You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
