that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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