Cold hands, warm shart.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
