i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
