it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
