remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He shit in the fireplace
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
