over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
