is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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