I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
