who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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