I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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