theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
