Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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