Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
