I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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