I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
