We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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