turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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