Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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