That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
