its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
