If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
