69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
