Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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