...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize