The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
