I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I would ride that face into the sunset
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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