He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
