is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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