How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
