I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
