well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize